2017-10-23 - 11:39 p.m.
Back to writing. Back to writing music, stories anything that gives me my sense of identity back. It's not like i really lost my identity.. more like forgotten.. smudged out of the daily narrative. Due to that mis-step, i now have a lot less ego. I'm less arrogant. Although i thought these might be a good thing, i just feel less in general.
I have things to do again.. and i think i only realize it when i dont eat as much.. it's funny how eating in such a 'regular' way has made me complacent.. today i took charge though and i think that's why im writing in her again.. it's been two years almost...
im going to become a writer.. and i intend to continue as a musician again. Losing Ape Theory was hard on me. I think i never acknowledged that.. Losing my father has added an unusual consequence to my mindset as well... i guess when i think about it. It's been a tough couple of years.. really though, when has it not been. Im currently a lot happier than i've ever been. I have a home with a girl i love more than anything and i have all the means to continue as a musician and writer.
I just stopped writing music for about a year.. and i stopped writing in general. But now im back. And i intend on being back again for a while, as i want to write my first novel. I have many ideas, but im just going to write the characters first and see where they take me. If they interact within my head then a better story might come out. I should approach it like i do music. Sometimes the cliche is true: the song just writes itself.
And maybe, i can too.
�
�
